What are you mourning about right now?


"Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted."(Matthew 5:8)


How Can We Tell a Person's Greatness?

Confucius said, whether a person is truly noble is known by how he behaves when he is alone. It is only natural that unless a person is mentally deranged, unaware of his strange behaviors, or is desperate to get himself incarcerated they will not go out of their way to behave inappropriately in front of others. All human beings want acceptance and acknowledgment from others. No one wants to hear a scolding for their misbehavior. For the sake of keeping one's pride and reputation people do their best to keep etiquette and behave well in front of others.

Yet it all changes when there is no one watching. A person will do a slack job on a task he sees as meaningless. Some will be sick with envy over those who are living the better life. They may be enslaved by anger and bitterness towards those closest to them and planning some evil scheme. There are also those who are addicted to pornography or overtaken with a plan to blackmail and swindle others. Even those who seem ok on the outside and receive much praise from others, when their life is brought out in the open they would have much reason to blush.  

How then can we know if a person who believes in Jesus has true sound faith? What is the measuring standard? Do praying, reading the Word, and praising all day when no one is looking qualify as being a good Christian? Probably not.  

The reason why one can tell a person's true character when he or she is alone is because that is when the person's morality is most easily shaken. In the same way, to know whether a person's faith is mature one needs to observe the person when his or her faith is under attack. When is a person's faith most shaken? No doubt it is when he or she is going through a hardship, trials and tribulations. Whether a person's faith truly stands or not is proved when there is sorrow and pain that visit the person's life. According to the explanation in our text, it is those who are comforted by God when they mourn who are of a true mature faith. It is not those who merely pray a lot.

This is not trying to promote that one does not need to pray in order to have genuine faith. Obviously, those who are mature in their faith will pray often, but praying a lot does not necessarily equal having mature faith. When a person is going through a severe hardship, whether that person is strong or weak in the faith, they will be moved to pray desperately. The real issue however, whether that person has prayed a lot or little, is whether they have experienced the peace of God. The problem is that many Christians will claim they have experienced God's peace after praying, yet in reality the peace that they felt was not from God in the first place.  

The Comfort that We Seek from the World

One must not think of God's comfort as something too complicated. If it is a peace that is different than what the people of the world seek, then it is of God. People of the world when they face a cause for mourning or a difficult trial will seek the comfort that comes from the world and not from God. Why is it so? Is it merely because they do not know God or because they don't believe in Him? It seems that way, yet in reality most of them know that there is some divine being that has absolute power and authority. The thing they have trouble believing is not so much God's existence or His omnipotence, but that He can be of comfort and help for them personally.

What are the sufferings that non-Christians often face, and how do they deal with them? Non-Christian parents may be anxious that they cannot send their children to a prestigious university. Their best solution is to hire a tutor no matter what the cost. If one is tormented because they cannot become rich through stocks or real estate, they merely can meet up with an able investment agent. If their health is failing, then they can go to a yoga class or a fitness center with the help of a trainer. If they have been hurt deeply and suffered injustice or shame, they can protest to the ones with power; if worse comes to worst they can hire the mafia to get revenge. They have no need to pray to God for help. That is because they know that the worldly problems are best solved with worldly solutions.  

What if the Christians suffer the same problems- being anxious because they cannot get their children into the best universities, desiring to become filthy rich through stocks, and mourning because they were unable to payback those who wronged and humiliated them? Could we expect any comfort from God if we live such lives? You don't even need to think twice. Of course the answer is "No".  

Even still if the Christian comes to church with such problems to ask God for solace regarding such matters, there are two reasons why: One, they want to hit a bigger jack pot than even the people of the world. Two, they are less diligent than the people of the world. To put it nicely they are merely more passive and less shrewd in their lives. What that means is that both the Christian and the non-Christian are seeking after the same things, yet it is merely that the Christian is seeking them in a different manner, a means that is less violent and destructive.

The reason why people of the world call Christians hypocrites is not merely because we sin behind closed doors. The real reason is because they believe that the Christians want success in the world just as they do and are full of greed for money, yet they don't earn their keep by working hard at it but try to cheat their way, relying on God. The Non-Christians, even though they know God exists, they realize that what they are pursuing is not so noble that they would rather not rely on God. Let's be honest, could it be that they have better faith than that of the Christian?

The Hopeless Counselor

It is not true that the Christian can always receive the comfort of God just because he prays in the midst of hardship. He cannot expect God's full comfort when showing up with worldly sorrows. There are causes for mourning that can receive the comfort of God anytime.

This was an event that took place during the 1980's when the communist party led by Pol Pot was implementing the genocide of its civilians in Cambodia (made into a movie called “The Killing Fields”). There was a psychiatrist and Christian counselor named Bruce Thompson who was working at a hospital near the border of Thailand and Cambodia. One day two American doctors showed up at his office, weathered and exhausted. They were doing medical missionary work in a secluded rural area in Cambodia and when they were sent off to rescue fellow doctors who were imprisoned by the communist party. Yet having heard of the gunfire and field artillery near the Cambodian border, they were frozen with fear and laid hidden for two days, unable to eat anything. They have not even crossed over the border of Cambodia before they turned back in fear, having forsaken their mission altogether.  
As Thompson heard such pitiful news, there was the still small voice of the Holy Spirit telling him, "Why don't you go in their place? You know the way around these parts much better." The voice kept nudging him repeatedly; because he could not let go of this heavy burden, he finally responded, "Yes, I will go." And in obedience, volunteered to go in their place. But as soon as he turned back to his own office, such great fear overtook him that he was pacing about the room struck with anxiety and neurosis.

"Am I going to be captured by the Khmer Rouge and be shot to death? Even if I make it out alive and merely become a prisoner, I will never be able to see my wife and children again...  I will lose all of my belongings and prestige I've worked so hard all these years to establish. I could keep serving God as I have been so far with the medical and counseling work. Was I just being big headed?" There was so much doubt and anxiety that continued to shake him up. The waves of fear suffocated him that he felt his soul in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death, drowning in worry about his family, the tears kept flowing. All the conflicting emotions were storming inside of him so strongly that he even forgot to pray.

Deep within him, was this continual voice reprimanding him. Its first words were, "Are you truly a Christian?" It was as if he had been hit on the head with a hammer. "After hearing God's voice, you vowed to obey, and that in the hearing of others. And now merely after a few minutes, this is how you behave? Do you truly trust in God's power? Who do you trust in now? Who are you relying on now? Do you truly love God more than people, your family? You've always taught others that if you trust wholly upon God and love Him only, He is going to grant you comfort and grace to protect you with His peace. Weren't you the one who boldly proclaimed that those who seek to gain their life will lose it, but those who deny themselves and carry the cross will receive true life?" In this way the internal struggle continued within him.  

All the while he decided to write a letter to his family in case worse comes to worst. Thinking this is his last letter, he could not help the tears; the words kept smearing off that he needed to rewrite them over and over throughout the night. On the other hand, there was a corner of his heart that kept saying "Wouldn't it be alright if I could cancel what I've said? I wonder then how they would treat me or think of me? Isn't there some proper excuse for me to back out? What if God would do a miracle and the trapped missionaries are set free before I go? How amazing that would be." All kinds of crazy thoughts went in and out of his head; he was in this cycle of crying and praying, regretting, then again recommitting his heart. All the while he did not get a single moment of sleep that night.


In the midst of it all, surfaced the imminent truth from his inmost being that he could not deny. That was that he was not the great picture perfect saint that he thought he was. "How is it that I who was full of passion for justice, having vowed to God to obey and volunteer for this task merely a few hours ago, am now trapped in fear and anxiety. All I'm thinking about is how I can get out of this rut I've placed myself in. Who is the real Thompson? Can such a person really have been the Christian counselor that has blessed others till now?" It was the first time that he saw his inner man with eyes wide open- not the doctor or the missionary or the Christian counselor, but as a human being stripped naked.  

The point which Thompson is mourning about is not money, health, wounds between relationships, nor is it regarding family matters. Neither is it being sad over the fact that he lacks the strength and the willpower to accomplish this feat. It's not even about having obeyed God by faith or commitment. Of course such things are part of the reason why the man was shaken up, but they are not all. The real essence of why he was mourning lay elsewhere deep within his soul; these other matters were mere shrapnel that splintered off from the main cause.

This weak and poor mortal soul is standing alone naked before God, wrestling with Him throughout the night. This person realizes that his experience, knowledge, reputation, etiquette, morality, and even faith that he has acquired throughout his lifetime are completely useless before the Almighty God. It is standing before the Almighty who controls and runs the universe, as a little worm of a creation. It's like standing in the middle of a desert snow storm, bare naked and being asked by Him, "Do you truly love and trust me?" and not being able to answer a single word, but being completely mute and stupefied.

Just what did Jacob Wrestle with?

We cannot measure true faith merely by a person's outward actions. Someone attending early morning prayer faithfully, or finishing the discipleship program, praying in tongues, and having the gifts of the Spirit does not guarantee that person has mature faith. It's not even the size of one's own confidence that now they are ready to give all to Jesus because they love Him. Nor is it naively proclaiming whatever trial or tribulation comes your way, "I believe God will grant me strength."

It may not even equal what Doctor Thompson did, deciding between God and your very own life, and then following through with the steel willpower. Of course it is because one has faith that they are able to let go of their life and follow the Lord. But choosing and following through is not equal to faith itself, but a result of that faith. In other words faith is something that is created within the believer way before such decision and choices are made and followed through.  

True faith is the ability to dive to the depth of oneself to one's very being turned inside out and being able to stare at it without any covering or hindrance. This is done before the Holy Presence of God. This is to know that anyone's help, advise and wisdom including our own resources are absolutely useless when severe crises come that require us to put ourselves entirely on the line. In other words faith is humbling oneself before God after having been completely broken to pieces and being trapped on all sides, barren and alone. Then confessing, "My soul thirsts for you; it is full of mourning. The only comfort I can receive is from You Lord."

We all know of how Jacob in Genesis 32 has wrestled all night with the Angel of God near the River Jabbok. Surely we know that when Jacob begged the Angel "I will not let You go unless You bless me." he didn't mean material blessing. He already had much riches, authority, and children. He was coming home a success story. Therefore he was not in lack of such things. In fact, he gave over half of his goods over to his brother Esau the next day when he was about to step into the land of Canaan.  

Surely Jacob's emotions before crossing the River Jabbok were similar to that of Thompson who was in turmoil throughout the night before he crossed over the border of Cambodia. Surely the state of both Thompson and Jacob were similar, Thompson who wouldn't know whether he would make it out safely once he crossed into Cambodia, and Jacob who as soon as he crossed the River Jabbok had to trust his fate to Esau who led 400 fighting men to meet him.  

"I'm afraid Lord. I cannot contain this anxiety and worry. For 21 years I have overcome all kinds of hardship under my uncle Laban, all for the sake and hope of going back to my home country. And tomorrow I go back to the land You promised where milk and honey overflows. Isn't it that I so desperately wanted Your promises Lord that I deceived even my brother and father to attain the right of the firstborn? These past few years I have overcome all kinds of tribulations and trials by holding onto that promise; but now I realize that whatever I have held onto is useless before what will take place tomorrow. My servants, all the livestock, my wife and children, my wit, courage and will, even my faith, cannot deliver me from this fear and worry. I realize now for the first time that I am truly a worm. Yes I'm afraid that I may die at the hands of my brother, but more so that I may never receive my inheritance in the land that you promised me. I mourn over my spirit that cannot seem to find peace no matter where I turn to. Please God have mercy on a sinner like me and comfort me. I merely ask and seek Your compassion right now.”

Thompson was fearful whether or not he would come back alive, but from the deeper levels of his soul he spent the night sleepless and mourning that all the morality badges, his proud credentials were completely useless. In the same way Jacob didn't wrestle with the Angel of Yahweh to merely ask for protection from Esau and the promise of enjoying his blessings in the land of Canaan. When he met this great big handicap, he was fearful that even God's promises were going to become as naught. Both figures had reached the very end of their souls, standing on the edge of what was left of their weak selves where even their faith would not help them at all.

Why Should We Mourn?

What the Christian must mourn for is not that he has no money, lacks health, or has been hurt in relationship with others. Not to say that all Christians are totally invincible to such issues. The pain is as real to them as it is to anybody else. That is why we must ask God to deliver us from such matters and meanwhile grant us the strength to endure them. It could be that while we pray we may still undergo tough trials and even after we pray it may not be so easy. But above all we must mourn the fact that our faith is not strong enough to save us when we're suddenly faced with the trials and tribulations. We mourn not necessarily because of the pain we experience caused by the hardships but because of our heart attitude, that we lack faith to overcome such difficulties.  

Many Christians do not yet know what their new found identity, status, privileges in Christ mean nor do they know how they apply them in their current lives. They are unsure that all conditions, events, and people that are forming around them at the current time are inevitably linked to God's intervention founded upon the cross, and that ultimately in the end such trials will lead to God's glory being revealed for the good of the believer. There are a few who know in their minds with their intellect, yet do not really experience it. Even those who have experienced God's Providence in the past, often lose their peace as a result of merely focusing upon the troubles that lie ahead, or because they are deceived by the devil.

What is God' will revealed in the Gospel of the cross of Jesus Christ? What is the changed status of the Christian who has stepped into His Will? It means being assured of God's love regardless of how much we love Him, or how much we trust or rely on Him. His love remains the same, unchanged towards us. That is why the Christian regardless of the kind of condition he's at, even if has fallen into sin, or backslidden, as long as he comes back before the cross, he can reaffirm his relationship with God. That is because God has loved the Christian since his birth, rather before time began. He has loved them, is loving them, and His love for them will never change for all eternity. This is the true meaning of the cross. There is no need to add onto it any other teaching or philosophy.  

It goes without saying that the anxiety and the fear that the Christian may experience now will not last forever. They should not be a source of worry for the Christian. That is because Jesus has overcome them already on the cross. Not only that, such hardships are a necessary means for the Christian to endure in order to pass into glory, and not a means to send the Christian into the pit of condemnation and judgment. There is no way that God will neglect to the very end those that are His, when He loves them for all eternity. That is why the Christian must never forget but keep in his heart that unless we go through such hardships at times, we cannot pass onto the higher road of His grace.


No doubt that such hardships are painful. We must pray and cry out for God's help. Even when we look upon our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ we see how hard they have it; no one can speak on behalf of another person's pain unless they've gone through it themselves. But what the Lord is addressing in our text is not just expressing sympathy and bandaging up the pain of the Christian but this:

"Don't you cry out to me every morning with the same old issue? Yes, it is a different time, place and name, but aren't you in essence still mourning about the same issues- money, health, relationships? Have you ever truly mourned for your spirit that is poor, pitiful, and blind? You confess with your mouth that you know God and have come into His grace offered on the cross, yet I wonder if you really know God, let alone His grace. When by some luck or chance you earn $5,000 or $10,000 you can't contain your excitement as if you owned the universe, but if even you lose $500 out of your earnings you sigh and mourn as if it's the end of the world. Then you come to me again and again to mourn over such matters only, when it is I who mourn for you because of your poor spiritual state. When will the cross truly be the source of life and power for you and God your true Lord? Have you ever mourned for your lack of faith and cried out to Me to forgive you for you for your doubts?"  

Many Christians think that faith is being able to pray to overcome the tough issues that come our way. Yet that is merely a result of faith, but not faith itself. Faith is honestly acknowledging that whatever we have held onto, our spiritual badges, is useless when we come under the Holy microscope of God's testing. It is humbling ourselves with mourning before the Lord. Thompson and Jacob were stripped bare in their souls and wrestled with God the whole night through. They were stripped to the bare bones of who they were in their inner beings. They couldn't even be seen as men of great faith as we know them. That is the definition of true "mourning" and growing in faith. What they received as a result is not an assurance that God will spare their lives, but a focused sight to see the cross. They were able to hold onto God's righteous hand that never lets go no matter what kind of situation the Christian is in. This is the true "comfort" that we receive and the outcome of our faith.

What did Jacob mean when he said, "I will not let you go until you bless me.”? He is saying “Grant me some assurance that God still loves me”; he was not asking for some sort of weapon or wit to outsmart his brother Esau. Perhaps the Angel of the LORD reminded Jacob of the promise that God gave to him when he first left Canaan. Jacob saw at Bethel, angels descending and ascending upon a stairway and received this promise, "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you" (Gen 28:15). Jesus also promised to His disciples "You shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man" (John 1:51).

Jacob saw Jesus not only at Bethel, but near the River Jabbok. You don't have to think too doctrinally about the cross. It means that God is always with His children He loves. “Always” of course includes the moments when there are trials and tribulations, and all the more so when the Christian lacks faith or is mourning his own weaknesses. The only true comfort that the Christian can receive is within the grace of the cross.

Whether Christian or not, there are endless matters in life that give us trouble and sorrow. Since the original sin of Adam, the whole creation itself has been corrupted so that the world is full of hypocrisy and strife. But the non-Christian can only find the cause of such hardships and its solution within the world. But if the Christian is struggling with the same issues and looking in the same places for answers then he deserves to be called a scoundrel. The non-Christian cannot bring such matters because of shame. Yet the Christian comes stern-faced before God asking Him to take care of his pain and discomfort caused from his own sin or fault.

Just because Jesus' cross stands for the climax and completion of God's love for the Christian, that does not give us the license to be so selfish. The real meaning of the cross is for us to realize the eternal purpose of God and to love Him more. We cannot try to use God, thinking naively that He is for us no matter what we do, while we still seek our comfort in the world. It is a different matter to give all of our lives and our beings before the love of the cross, and to merely seek that love only when we're in trouble.  

What the Christian mourns for must be completely the opposite of what the people of the world mourn for. We must mourn that even in the slightest hurdles we face in life, our faith, along with all that we have cannot help us - our weak flesh, finite abilities, and loose morals. But more importantly we must mourn daily at every instance when we are shattered in our poor spirits like Thompson or Jacob to try to run away from what God has in store for us to do.  

It is not God's purpose to allow hardships upon the Christian merely to train them to endure to become a moral or religious saint. He does not even mean to ask for a lifetime of commitment to God's work. But only this, that whatever hardships may come the Christian may never forget that the only way for them to receive comfort is to come before the foot of the cross. That is why unless we have that comfort from the cross we can never truly be happy nor have peace. When one is assured of God's unconditional love shown on the cross that is when God's true comfort starts to fall upon the individual. Our comfort our urgent request being answered by God.

What are you mourning about right now and what comfort are you seeking? Are you mourning that your soul is even slightly distanced from the cross so that you desire to be comforted only through the cross? Otherwise if you're still mourning about not having enough money, physical ailments, and hurts you have received, merely looking for a solution to such matters you're at the wrong address. If you go out to the world rather than the church, you might have much better luck.