What humans dislike more than death

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What humans dislike more than death


Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).  


A teenage prodigy vocalist

One day a teenage girl came to Elgar, the famous British composer of the early part of 1900’s for a singing lesson.  She was naturally gifted with a heavenly voice and flawless in her sense of tone, rhythm, and technique.  After hearing her performance Elgar gave this critique: “I’m sure you will be a great opera singer… that is, only if your heart is broken to pieces by such immense sorrow.  Your voice is beautiful to the ears but not enough to move the heart.”    

In order to understand the true depth and meaning of life, we need to experience pain through failures and hardship.  It is timeless truth that the one who experienced betrayal knows the true beauty of friendship, one who has suffered the hurt of a breakup knows the depths of love, the one who has been diagnosed with a grave illness knows the preciousness of health, and the one who has eaten the bread of poverty to be humbled by life.  However such axioms are wisdom anyone can in life without anyone teaching them to you.  

Jesus claimed the second blessing poured out to the children of God as “mourning”; this does not refer to a normal day to day sorrow everyone experiences as a result of living this hard knock life.  The audiences of Christ’s sermon were those who for their entire lives experienced financial poverty along with all kinds of ups and downs as a result of their terminal illnesses.  Surely the Lord would not speak to them of the need to suffer an illness to cherish one’s health.

Nor is Jesus referring to tearing up whenever seeing those that suffer or facing the littlest of hardship.  There are those who need more than a box of Kleenex each time they see a melodramatic scene on TV.  If the “mourners” in our text is referring to such people, how about those who by nature are slow to show emotion, would they be excluded from receiving the blessings of God?  If so God would be playing favorites.  That is why the condition of the faithful described in the Beatitudes must not be interpreted as personalities or innate character traits.  There are those who are much more sensitive and expressive emotionally and those who remain unaffected in their mood come rain or come shine.  Personality and innate character traits are gifts that God gave to each person according to His Sovereign will and as is fitting.  

The Greek word for to “mourn” – “Cliaeen”- means sadness of the greatest degree.  It is a sadness that breaks the heart, cuts at the bones, dries up the blood, and pierces the soul, completely shattering our being both in body and inner man.  If that is too heady to understand, in simpler terms, it is uncontrolled sadness bursting from the deepest part of you, your face covered wet with tears and snot.  It is wailing like a baby, unaware of the people around you, your pride and your status left in the dumpster.  Even though you know in your head you are embarrassing yourself to no degree you cannot contain your sorrow.  It is tears that should not be restrained by any other, nor can they be.  It may be a silent sob, but like a tidal wave such sorrow rushes over you that you are helpless to contain it.  

Have you ever drowned in such “mourning”?  If not when do you suppose you will mourn with such tears?  There is an old pop song named “……hills of Dan Jang”, that means crossing those hills hurt as if one’s intestines were being torn apart.  The song speaks of the pain and sorrow of those who had to cross over the hills of Miari during the Korean War, having been separated from their loved ones for life among the sea of refugees.   Suffice to say there is no greater sorrow here on earth than to lose a parent or a spouse.  Surely one feels as if their intestines are being torn apart; the people around you disappear and the tears keep flowing; there’s no stopping it. Yet it does not make sense that mourning for losing a parent can be termed as the second blessing of the Beatitudes for the Christian, for even those outside of the Christian faith experience such loss one time or another.  

international student turns pastor.  

A graduate from a prestigious university in Korea came to the States to pursue a phd. and ended up becoming a pastor. Before he came to the America he had no concept whatsoever about God or Jesus, nor was he interested at all. He deemed himself the smartest and the most righteous of all people.  It has become more common now to study abroad in the U.S. but back in those days, only the rich and the most well off could do so. Perhaps all the more reason why when told “All of us are sinners. You need to be saved from your sins through the blood of Jesus Christ” he would not even blink and eye.  

America was no fun and games however.  The different language, the culture and customs were no easy barriers to overcome, and the jealous backbiting that existed between fellow students along with the harsh criticism he received from the professors left him weary and hurt.  For the first time that he was at the end of his ropes.  Although he had graduated from the most prestigious university in Korea, he could not speak a single word of English when he got off the plane, was practically deaf during class, and his first test was a nutter failure.  As a result not a single day went by without him stressing out over his life.  The pressure was getting to him; as a last resort he finally give church a try. Although it gave him some comfort, it was only for a moment. God and Jesus seemed to him still too abstract, merely a concept.  

One day however, the speaker at the end of a revival service encouraged all who wanted to receive prayer to come up to the altar.  Our student shared the burdens on his heart as the pastor prayed for him.  Suddenly tears started to fall down his cheeks, until from his bowels rushed forth a cry of desperation.  He did not care who was around, and completely losing himself cried his heart out.  After rolling about on the floor crying and wailing until every drop of liquid was dried up he found himself alone with rest of the crowd gone and two hours past.

The period of mourning for a parent or a child may last longer; in Israel and the Orient, they hire a person(a mourner) who wails in place of the sons and daughters for  all the heartache they caused their parent while he or she was still alive. But normally one cannot cry for two hours straight in one sitting even for a parent. In other words the “mourning” referred in our text speaks of a greater pain and sorrow than that experienced in the death of a parent or a child with its meaning completely different.  

Our student recollects that the pastor merely prayed about the hardships he was going through - the language barrier, the low grades, and the hurt he received from others.  Oddly enough as the prayer deepened he realized he was not crying because of those hardships.  That is, it was not a “God, grant me favor with my professors… improve my English skills… let my classmates like me!!!...sob…sob” kind of prayer.  Being a self-proclaimed intellectual, it was common sense that  such issues were mere hurdles one had to overcome and not cause for the kind of sorrow and mourning he underwent.  

While such issues did bother him a little initially, when he was crying all alone like a madman, he felt as if a pool of great sorrow in the deepest part of him that he had never known about burst open.  Almost in disbelief that his body contained so much liquid, it was useless to try to wipe away his tears.  He cried most bitterly, his face covered with droplets of sweat.  He could not pinpoint exactly why he felt so sad nor could he remember what had really taken place during those two hours, nor could figure out why he had done what he had done.  

In the midst of it all, the one truth that surfaced in his soul was that “Jesus, He is still alive.  He knows me.  And He is standing next to me.  He is here with me.”  As a result he experienced a wondrous sense of calmness and warmth enveloping him.

The Gospel he has heard countless times since he started attending church was now made fully real to him.  The love of Christ which he could never quite grasp from merely hearing the preacher’s sermon filled not only his mind but his heart so that there was no room for even a speck of doubt. He could not help but confess again and again out of grace “Thank you Lord.  You saved even a helpless fool like me.  Thank you Jesus.”  

the glorious light of Christ

The moment the glorious light of Christ shines upon the brute, senseless, and wicked soul of man and the grace of His cross touches the deepest inmost part of the sinner, they are transformed into a new creation.  The man mentioned in the story above testified that when the speaker prayed for him a hot lava like sensation flowed from the top of his head to his toes. This was the Spirit of Christ touching the hardened heart of this proud and self-righteous sinner. He received what is known as Holy Spirit baptism.  

Yet we must not presume that all have the same exact experience when they receive Christ.  It is more common that many people do not known the specifics of when and where they received the Holy Spirit.  Jesus Himself said to Nicodemus that one must be born again of the Spirit, yet regarding the baptism of the Holy Spirit He said, “The wind blows wherever it pleases.  You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”  Perhaps there was a greater need for him to experience a super fire baptism of the Holy Spirit as he was later called to be a minister of the Gospel, and perhaps to put to death completely his stubborn pride.  

All men who are without Christ and still under the power of original sin have a big empty hole in their inmost self.  That hole remains constantly empty no matter what kind of success and prosperity the person experiences in the world- he or she merely feels chronically unsatisfied and spiritually desolate.  Yet in truth, that space is not completely void but held captive by the father of lies, the spirit of the devil.  Just as his name shows, he has deceived humans to become his hostages so that they do not know why they feel such discontentment.  Rarely they may sense that there is something lacking but not quiet know what it is or why such a feeling exists.  

The deepest inmost part of man is the control center, what is often referred to as the true nature of man.  When the Spirit of Christ drives out the spirit of the devil and resides there, then the most hideous criminal is restored as a true human being as God originally intended him to be, living and breathing in the image of God .  Transformation takes place from deception to truth, darkness to light, sin to righteousness, from death to life, and emptiness to fullness.  There is a complete overhaul of the old nature and he is born anew as a totally different person than before.  

In the case of the student turned pastor, he could not intellectually understand why he cried for over two hours.  It was not as if he was overtaken with sorrow or bitterness. Nor were his tears the result of spewing out his anger or hurt stored up inside of him, nor the result of severe physical pain. He did not even have the power to stop himself or the room to be conscious of others for fear of shame. This goes to show that his mourning did not spring from his outward problems in the physical but burst forth from his inner nature that he was never aware of. It was a cry mourning his entire being- when the Spirit revealed a true picture of his inner man so pitiful, filthy, and full of sin.  His old sinful nature was completely shattered. And as new wine is poured into new wineskins, God personally poured His Spirit upon him.  

What humans need most desperately

What do you suppose humans need most disparately?  What is it that they are always lacking and constantly in need of? What do you think is that which every person without exception desires with such longing in their deepest part?  Is it as mentioned above the Spirit of God? Yes, that is true, but what we mean is that man cannot say so until he has come to know the truth of the Gospel and believes in Jesus.  A person who can answer in such a way already has the Spirit of God and therefore is not experiencing such a spiritual lack we have talked about. In contrast, those who do not believe will never recognize on their own that what they need most desperately is the Spirit of God. In other words, within the confines of what man can sense by himself, what he is in such dire need of, to him, is not the Spirit of God but something else.  

There was an elderly woman who having immigrated to America, was divorced and living by herself. Although having one through all kinds of hardships, she had earned enough to buy a modest condo for herself and was waiting on her retirement. She said that there is one thing that pains her to no end that she just cannot bear. Surprisingly she revealed that it is going back to her condo after work. Her American dream consisted of working at a nine to five sweat shop- you could imagine the physical exhaustion she would undergo. Naturally you would think that after working hard all day she would be dead tired  and would want to rush home to take a shower and just drop dead, but what she said surprised me.  

She revealed that although her life is full of troubles- she is too old to work at such a physically demanding job, (the work tires her out to no end), she has two sons close to forty who have yet to marry, and she is not financially stable- this last bit was harder than all of those combined.  In her own words, the moment that she turns the key to her apartment was like an inmate stepping back into her own prison. Being all alone in her two-bedroom condo was like being trapped in an empty cell. It was a living nightmare.  

When God made human beings He made them to love one another and be loved.  Man is most human when they are helping and serving one another and leaning on each other.  In other words, man was programmed from the very beginning to feel true joy and happiness only through living in community. That is why he utterly despises being separated from his neighbors and being left all alone.  Loneliness is harder than suffering from the pain of disease or financial hardship.  

What happens when you are hurt by your friend, spouse, co-workers, church member, or even your siblings, parents, or children? The pain is worse than when you suffer from trials regarding jobs, money or an illness.  You get to sympathize with King David’s words, “Iampouredoutlikewater,andallmybonesareoutofjoint.  My heart has turned to wax; it has melted away with me.  My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth”(Psalms22:14-15).

Why do you suppose those refugees crossing over the hills of “Miari” felt excruciating anguish like that of their insides being torn apart?  The anguish of losing their siblings or parent is immense, but realizing that they are completely stranded, with no one near to encourage or strengthen them… not even one, that those who would truly love them have all disappeared hurts far greater.

Underneath every thought, word, and action of human beings is an innate desire to be loved.  Often times planning a task and working hard to see it accomplished is nothing more than an effort to numb the silence of loneliness and a struggle to earn the approval and love of others.  More than any other human desire, the desire to be accepted and affirmed of one’s self-worth through others is far greater.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved for God has made us that way.  The real (tragedy) problem is in that we cannot give and receive true love.  

Invite Jesus into the empty room of your soul.  

It was the dream of the student turned pastor to earn a Phd. and become a professor.  Just as a businessman with money, a bachelorette with fancy clothes and make-up, he too as a means to be accepted by others and silence his loneliness chose as his weapon of choice the rigor of academia. He had been faithful to a T in this battle until he set his foot to study abroad in the States.  He was expectant that soon enough the utopia of his dreams would unfold where he would proudly show off his badge of success in front of a numerous audience and their applause.  Yet it was at that exact moment, for the first time in his life that he was met by his greatest handicap.  

His problems with English, the hurt he received from his professors and his fellow classmates were merely outward signs of an inward disability.  Beneath it all was this unseen fear that his self-worth would not be acknowledged by those around them

Naturally he tried in the beginning his hardest to overcome this disability with everything he had.  He was confident that with his well rounded personality, high moral standards, brains, and apt social skills he acquired from priceless life experiences, that he could control his life to conform to his ideals, boasting of his well to do credentials.  

He slowly began to realize however that no matter how desperately he wanted his life to conform to his ideals his zeal and commitment just would not cut it.  Increasingly he found he could not communicate with others and regardless of his intentions or wish, was being pushed to the corner by the world and left stranded.  Before he knew it he was being forced into a jail cell of solitary confinement.  He was at his wit’s end that as a last resort he decided to seek help from those “Jesus freaks”.

The most unexpected thing occurred.  In that empty jail cell of the soul, came the full assurance of love absolute, love unconditional, love everlasting, the True and Unchanging love of God on the cross that exchanged His One and Only Son for our lives. As a result burst forth a cry with the confession that his life of running away from God for the past 30 years has been completely meaningless, and that there was not a single bright spot of goodness in himself.  

Humans without first receiving the love of God cannot step into a genuine relationship of love with others.  Without God there is no way to escape the chronic heart wrenching loneliness plaguing mankind.  Although one may have all the fancy cars, a walking closet full of GUCCI dresses, a three story mansion, and all the power and fame one could ever want, he or she ends up feeling more alienated.  Such primal longing can never be filled by a parent, brother, friend, spouse or children.  It is usually the case that the more flashy the outer man, the more desolate the inner man becomes.  That is because God has deemed the empty space where God’s Spirit used to dwell before the fall of Adam, can only be filled by His Spirit.  

It is only common sense that the second blessing the Christian enjoys after his conversion comes at the tail end of the first blessing.  The first blessing has to do with coming to the utter realization as the Apostle Peter after denying Christ that “I”, my entire being is completely devoid of any good thing. It is acknowledging one’s own spiritual state as not merely a relative (partial) poverty but an absolute (complete) poverty.  Absolute poverty in other words is to find yourself completely alone, drowning deep in the waters of sheer loneliness knowing that in this life there is absolutely nothing one can do to experience true genuine love.

This second blessing is mourning out of pity and sorrow for one’s own helpless spiritual state.  After denying his master three times Peter mourned bitterly out of disgust and hatred for his own person.  Underneath it all his tears sprang from fear that having betrayed his master he would now be abandoned by Him.  Having betrayed his inmost conscience, he was utterly alienated from himself and from all others.  The meaning of mourning in our text however encompasses a greater sphere.  

Just as Peter found the mercy of Christ’s glance at his moment of denial, and as the international student experienced a fire that fell from his head to his toes, when the Spirit of Christ fills the poor in spirit, that person realizes and tastes for the first time the grace of God. He cries out of joy that he is no longer alone in this world and abandoned by God.  True mourning is the work of repeatedly washing away the filth and rot in the deepest place of our inner beings that was once occupied by Satan.  

With the blessing “to mourn” is a flip side. Jesus claimed “If any one is thirsty ,let  him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him”(John7:37). Out of the most dire spiritual thirst comes an in-filling of God’s abundant grace. This does not mean that just because one believes in Jesus that there will be sunshine and prosperity everyday. All humans who are not filled with His Spirit will constantly be thirsty in their souls. That is why we must come to Jesus to experience true freedom.  

Moreover when seeing a non-christian who lacks knowledge of this eternal truth deny God, scorn Jesus, and follow the ways of this world we cannot help but mourn out of pity and sorrow.  Whether that person is better off financially and in better health than the Christian does not matter.  When we look upon them through the Spirit of Christ our spirits become heavy, and unbeknownst to ourselves groan and mourn.  

Do you know the root cause of all suffering and hardships that humans experience?  It is that no man has ever come into a genuine relationship of true authentic love; it is knowing that every man is utterly alienated from others yet pretending that we are receiving all the approval and love from others that we crave. That is because even though we desperately desire TRUELOVE, being deceived by Satan, we try so hard to earn love from the world and people though it may be merely annihilation, and we end up totally depleted, having was detour precious time and money in the process. Humans in their natural state, under the power of original sin and without the Spirit of Christ, cannot achieve true genuine love.  That is, if they have never come to realize how naked and poor their own spirits are and have never truly mourned for themselves to the point of grief, they have never even begun to truly love themselves, let alone others.  

Just merely confessing that one is a sinner is not enough for one to experience the true meaning of mourning that Jesus talks about in the Beatitudes. It may only be a pretense of humility. Their spirit must be broken to the state of absolute poverty, and they must mourn and ache over their tragic spiritual state.  It must hurt more than having lost a parent or a son. More than that, it must be an incomparable sorrow, known to man. We must know that compared to the pain we experience when we lose the whole world, even our parents, and our sons, the terror of God neglecting us should cause us the greatest sorrow when life becomes living hell.  

When we become poor in spirit, naturally we mourn. Yet at that exact moment the Spirit of Christ fills us up to the brim, that our tears change from sadness to rapture of having been found by God!  Those who have truly encountered Jesus one on one do go through that period of deep mourning; their cries spring from the deepest part of them, yet they pass from absolute poverty to absolute grace in a flash. After that initial stage of mourning in the moment of conversion, the Christian throughout his life when encountering another lost soul will mourn for them in their spirit.  This is the true blessing of mourning. Have you ever truly mourned for yourself or for others?  

6/10/2011

사라의 웃음

2011.06.18 22:02:54
*.169.30.48

10학년과 7학년의 조카들이 있습니다.
큰아이가 이 곳의 글들을 프린트하여 읽곤 동생에게 읽으라며 건네주는 모습이 너무
귀합니다. 큰 아이는 글들을 읽곤 이것 저것 질문도 참 많이 합니다.
이제 다 읽었으니 변역글 올라오길 목을 빼고 기대할터인데요. ^^
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